Ah, Fathers Day. The one day of the year, Dads can be celebrated…not anymore it seems.
OK, I have been toying with the idea of writing this post for while and I haven’t because I don’t want to offend anybody as it would never be my intention, but recently this has bothered me more and more.
Once a year, there is a day specifically designated to congratulate, appreciate, thank and generally spoil one individual member of the family. In the UK at least, in March we have Mothers Day, in June we have Fathers Day. Leading up to Mothers Day there are big campaigns for mothers to be recognised and so they should be. My mother was amazing and I couldn’t ask for a better mother to my children than the woman I married, but leading up to Fathers Day I keep seeing campaigns for Fathers Day cards….for mums?
Before you light your pitchfork I want to point out that I was raised by a single parent from the age of 9. Before that my dad wasn’t a massive influence on my life so again, most of my childhood was being raised by a mum and a mum alone. I would never consider getting her a Fathers Day card because…she’s not a Dad.
Yes, she filled both roles and although some may think I am an idiot (Especially after reading this blog), I think she did a great job, but that doesn’t make her my dad…it makes her a great mum and on Mothers Day we celebrated that, not enough in retrospect.
One of the biggest things I find hard to find in parenting is equality. I have seen so many people writing about the fact that their childs school make a big deal (again rightly so) of Mothers Day, having kids make cards and gifts, but for Fathers Day, nothing.
Again in this situation, I am very lucky. The school my children attend are great and are pretty good at recognising the role that both parents take in the family dynamic, but to think a school does something for one parent and nothing for the other puzzles me.
In parenting, the lines between the roles of mums and dads are getting blurry. There isn’t and shouldn’t be a ‘Mums’ job and a ‘Dads’ job. Both should get stuck in where they can so when it comes to celebrating either a mum or dad, why can’t those days be about that parent?
Again, I am not saying in a single parent family that parent shouldn’t be celebrated, but it should be on the day that’s relevant to them. If it was a same-sex couple, you don’t describe one person a mum and one a dad, you are both mums or you are both dads, so why would you celebrate a Dad on Mothers Day and a Mum on Fathers Day?
The card asks “Who said the best dad in the world can’t be a Mum?”, well by definition being of the female gender, doesn’t that make you a mum? Why do you need to have the label of being a great Dad? Isn’t being a great Mum enough, you have to label yourself as both Mum and Dad?
I think I know what your answer will be dear readers, but am I talking out of my rear end here? Am I being too sensitive?
Feel free to give me a good reason why Mothers Day can’t be Mums only and Fathers Day for fathers only?
Now put those pitchforks down and go give your parents a hug.