Mummy, where’s your tail?

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I love the movie Kindergarten Cop. It’s a movie showing big Arnolds softer side but with the knowledge that if any danger appears he can still jump to action.

If you’ve never heard of or seen the movie, here’s the storyline in a nutshell.
Arnie plays a cop who put a bad guy away. Only person that can testify is bad guys ex-wife. Arnie needs to find her but the only info he has is the school her kid goes to. Arnie finds himself undercover as a kindergarten teacher and hilarity ensues!

One of my favourite scenes of the movie is when Arnie is first introduced to his new class and a little boy greets him with this important life fact…

While MrsDWB was having a shower this morning, BB decided he needed a wee. While pulling his trousers back up the following conversation happened..

BB: Mummy, where’s your tail?
MrsDWB: I don’t have one, your a boy so you do, I’m a girl so I don’t
BB: Hmmmm, I have one, daddy has one, grandad has one
MrsDWB: Yes, your all boys
BB: Grandma have a tail???
MrsDWB: No, she’s a girl like me
BB: oh, ok…I will go check!

Sorry grandma…..

I’ve been expecting this for a while. As with all boys he is a little obsessed with his ‘Tail’ so it was only a matter of time until he became curious about it.

We have also had to have the conversation recently about the fact that he shouldnt show his tail to anybody. When getting undressed he likes to flash it to anybody who’s watching normally proceeded by the scream of “Ready? Steady? TAIL!!!

Is three and a half a little early to be going through this little stage of discovery? There is nothing we can do about it so I guess we just have to make sure we deal with it right…Any tips welcome! 🙂
At least he’s not too bothered about other people’s tails so far!

We call it a tail, what do you call it?
If boys have a tail, what do girls have?
Tell me the names you use in the comments!

As always, thanks for reading.


  1. Lol poor grandma is now in the firing line, are you gonna give he the heads up?

    I remember a trip to the health visitor. She told us matter-of-factly that “Once a boy finds his winky, he’ll play with it until the grave”.

  2. uh oh. couldn’t help but giggle!
    I think my little boy would have been confused if we had called it a tail as it’s not on his bottom hehe

    ( found your post via the #bigfatlinky )

    1. Yeah, its wierd that he doesnt seem confused when we talk about animal tails…maybe he just knows he is not one of those animals which is why his tail is different?…Another conversation for another time! lol

      Thanks for the comment

  3. Fantastic post! I think all kids go through this at some point. I’ve always used the correct terminology but whatever works in the moment is good. I had a discussion with my eldest at 3 who compared sizes between myself and his mums partner whilst having bath time. Let’s say it was an interesting conversation! Lol. Great that you had the “don’t show your tail to others” conversation. We do the pants only rule. That’s always worked. Am sure there’s an advert for it….I’ll see if I can find the link. Thanks for linking up with us on the #bigfatlinky

  4. A tail? That’s a new one for me, lol. We’re not there yet- will prob plump for boring old penis/vagina. The oddest one Ive ever encountered (working in a preschool) was “front bottom” 🙂

    1. Surprisingly I have heard the term front bottom before! No idea where from though! ha

      Thanks for the comment

  5. Haha. Love Kindergarten Cop. It’s conversations like this that scare me about the future! Everything is much simpler when they are a baby, they can’t speak and aren’t inquisitive about things like this. Man, I’m genuinely scared now about what Baby L will be asking and how I respond!

  6. Oh my goodness, too funny! Did Grandma recover?!
    I remember when my little boy was about 2.5, he announced to an innocent passer-by in the supermarket “I have a tiny willy, but my daddy has a massive willy”

    I nearly died

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