For a moment there it was touch and go. For at least a week now I have lost all focus.
All drive. I came to work and did what was necessary, but nothing more. That’s not me.
Those I work with might not believe me but I am normally pro-active. I look for work to do. Not last week. Not since the announcement. The announcement has left me in a state of limbo. The lack of information means although we kind of know what will happen in 12 months’ time, we don’t know what will happen next week.
In 6 months I could still be sat at the same desk doing the same job.
In six months, I could be working somewhere completely different.
In six months, I could be working nowhere and sat at home worrying how I am going to keep a roof over my families head, food on my families table. I don’t hate many things, but I hate this feeling.
My mind drifts easily. I find myself daydreaming about what could be instead of thinking about what should or will be.
It wasn’t just at work. Even this very blog has suffered. I have subjects I want to blog about but no ‘umph’ to actually put words into paragraphs.
My diet has been a little on the way-side. Although I have remained strict on the whole, there has been far too many occasions where I have been happy to drift into the world of fast foods and sweets.
This week has felt different. My focus isn’t 100% yet but it’s better. It’s still taken me 3 days to do this blog post, but I’m getting there.
I have on the odd occasion thought about packing this blog in completely, I mean if I don’t have the focus and nobody would miss me, then the blog loses its purpose, right?
But for now, I’m blogging on.
I have things in my head I want to get down on ‘paper’. I just need to find the focus to do it.
As always, thanks for reading.