The one with controlled crying…again

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As I sit here typing this post my baby is crying. He’s been crying on and off now for the past 10 minutes. Why don’t I comfort him? For his own good, for the sanity of the wife and I and because sometimes you have to do something you don’t enjoy for the greater good.

LB is 9 months old. He still needs to be held to go to sleep and he still wakes multiple times in the night.
That’s not good for him, it’s not good for us and it’s not good for BB.

If you don’t know what Controlled Crying is, here’s a rundown of this pretty controversial technique:

The controlled crying approach involves putting your baby to bed awake, and the parent leaving the room for a short period,returning if the baby is crying, but leaving again for progressively longer periods until the baby falls asleep. This approach suits those who believe babies need routines and boundaries. It is not a baby sleep training technique that should be used for babies under 6 months old and is not suitable for babies who are suffering with separation anxiety.

With BB we used the ‘Control Crying’ technique and although it was hard, it worked and until we moved him to a cot bed, he slept great and 99% went to sleep with no problems.

So here we are again. Listening to tears being shed and eyes being reddened, but I know that if this works as it did before, then it will all be worth it.

Unsurprising it’s again me that seems to have the bigger issue with this technique. I hate listening to him cry and simply sitting here staring at a stop watch.

Night 1 went great.
After only going on once, LB settled himself down great and he only woke once.
When it came to nap time the next day, it didn’t go so well. After an hour of using the technique, we abandoned all hope and he didn’t have a nap until later that day….while cuddling daddy!
So here we are on night 2. Again after going in just once, he has settled fine. Lets hope he has a good nights sleep again.

Using this technique is not for the faint of heart, but I know that it can work if we stick with it and I just need to deal with feeling like a shitty daddy leaving his baby boy to cry.

Have you used this technique?
Did it work?
Let me know your opinion on this or any other ‘Sleep Training’ techniques you have used.

As always, thanks for reading.


  1. I know it’s really hard. Our toddler has never responded to anything but being put to bed and left. We even found that going in after 5 minutes just made her worse and often leaving her an extra two minutes would have her asleep.

    It got better quickly but even up until recently (and sometimes still) there would be a token protest about going to bed, with 30 seconds or so of whining. We tried so many other ways but sometimes you have to be a bit tough for the sake of everyones sanity.

    Plus, they’re much nicer children if they’ve had a good nights sleep!!

  2. Great interesting read, it’s good to hear other parents view on sleeping routines I for one struggle, I’d rather pick child up and cuddle them but I know they’ll never learn to go to sleep by themselves.

    1. So is the reason they get cuddled for your benefit more than theirs? Would it be better for them if you used this another technique?

  3. A tough one, especially if your child is quite clingy. It’s horrible listening to cries and not doing anything “for their own good”, but worth it in the long run. No-one has a good day if child is waking lots in the night.

    1. Thanks for the comment.
      When I say “For his own good” I mean that it can’t be great him waking through the night for anybody including him, so if this works and it means he sleeps through, that’s surely better for him too?

  4. You know 9 months isn’t that old to still need cuddling to sleep and wake up in the night. We did controlled crying once with Matilda and that was it never again. Instead with her and Henry we just gradually reduced the cuddling before bed so that they were more and more awake when going in their cot.
    If they cried when put down we picked them up and resettled then put them down again. Takes time but gives them the reassurance you are there and it’s ok to fall asleep.
    I think though as a parent you can tell the difference between a cry that is just a moan because they want a cuddle and being really upset. If it’s the former I think ok to leave a bit.

    Do you also have a regular bed time routine? I think that helps a lot get them used to what’s coming.

    1. It’s definitely not for everybody! With BB we knew within a couple of nights that it worked and LB seems to be going same way so it wasn’t too stressful for anybody. Your right you can tell the difference and we wouldn’t let him get too distressed. Seems to be more shouting! lol
      Bedtime routine is better than it was which I think has helped.
      Thanks for the comment!

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