Influence and inspiration

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I don’t really have regrets and I don’t really dwell on things I have no control over. If I can’t change it, then why worry about it. One of the saddest thoughts I have regarding my upcoming adventure into fatherhood, is that my mum won’t be here with me.

At around midnight on the 22nd April 2000 (11 years today) my mum lost her second battle with cancer. I was 19. My mum raised me on her own from the age of 9 years old (with help from my big sister) and as you can imagine has heavily influenced my life.  She raised me to be a respecting, polite, hardworking person and I know that if she is looking down on me now, she would be proud of what I have done with my life. She only got to meet Christine once, but I know that she would have loved her dearly and would have been so happy to have been a gran.

There is always the joke about, how when you grow up and have kids, you won’t say things your mum would say, but even now, I find myself in situations where I say something and a small smile crosses my lips as I hear my mum’s voice in my head say the same thing, so I know that when it comes time to tell my son or daughter to do this or that, I know I will do it just as my mum would have done.

I will never forget how hard my mum worked for me to have everything she could give me. It may not have been the best of trainers, or the coolest of gadgets, but what she gave me is a great childhood even with all the bad times and she gave me a blueprint. A blueprint on how to be the best parent I can be and if I can be half the parent my mum was I know my kid will grow up to be just fine.

I love you mum, always in our hearts and thoughts.
 Florence Joan Diane Jenkins
27th April 1948 – 22nd April 2000


  1. That is thoughtful, beautiful and honest. I’m sure your mum would be very proud of the man you hav become, and her parenting know how will benefit you and grandchildren to come – a fabulous legacy to leave xxx


  2. Lewis, I saw this post on Saturday evening and I meant to post back then. At the time we were celebrating my girl’s 1st birthday.
    Having recently suffered the loss of my mother in law to cancer I can appreciate your feelings as you look towards fatherhood. My MIL was an amazing woman who lived for her family. Losing her when her first granddaughter was only 7 months was crushing for everyone.
    It’s clear you will honour your mum in the best way possible; by being the father and man she wanted you to be. Keep the head up and be proud of yourself.

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