I don’t really have regrets and I don’t really dwell on things I have no control over. If I can’t change it, then why worry about it. One of the saddest thoughts I have regarding my upcoming adventure into fatherhood, is that my mum won’t be here with me.
At around midnight on the 22nd April 2000 (11 years today) my mum lost her second battle with cancer. I was 19. My mum raised me on her own from the age of 9 years old (with help from my big sister) and as you can imagine has heavily influenced my life. She raised me to be a respecting, polite, hardworking person and I know that if she is looking down on me now, she would be proud of what I have done with my life. She only got to meet Christine once, but I know that she would have loved her dearly and would have been so happy to have been a gran.
There is always the joke about, how when you grow up and have kids, you won’t say things your mum would say, but even now, I find myself in situations where I say something and a small smile crosses my lips as I hear my mum’s voice in my head say the same thing, so I know that when it comes time to tell my son or daughter to do this or that, I know I will do it just as my mum would have done.