Dadwhoblogs

UK dad blogger, father, husband (Not in that order)

Green Fingers – MySundayPhoto

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I’m not a gardener at all. I mow the lawn, I tidy, but that’s about it.
Looks like LB might have got the green fingers of the family.

This and many other photos have been linked over at Photalife, so go over there by clicking the image below and check out everybody else’s #MySundayPhoto pictures.

OneDad3Girls

 

Thanks for visiting!
L

11 year anniversary..

I was going to write a post about the fact that today, me and the woman I call my wife celebrate our 11 year anniversary.

Instead I thought I would commit what some may call a blogging crime (Some would say I do this every time I post!) and re-use an old post. I wrote this little post 5 years ago on our 6 year anniversary but it’s a little insight into the path to 11 years married.it was also before we became parents which honestly feels AGES ago!….in a good way of course!

The original post can be found here. Please excuse how bad my writing was but as with my marriage, I didn’t want to change anything.. 🙂 Sick buckets not included.

The 7th May holds a very special place in my heart, for that is the day I married my beautiful wife Christine.

ChristineWe first met when I got a job working in the same department as a temp, way back in 1999. Immediately, we struck up a friendship and after a while it became clear, Christine couldn’t resist the DWB charm. (I’m certain, this doesn’t actually exist, but I can’t otherwise think why she would be attracted to ME!) Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. I was still in a serious relationship with a girl I went to high school with, so cupid had to take a rain check.
After nearly a year, Christine was to get a job working abroad as a holiday rep in Majorca. A few weeks before she left, my mum passed away and although my then girlfriend appeared distant, Christine was there for me when I needed someone to talk to.
In true Hollywood fashion, the day after Christine flew out to Spain; I split with my then girlfriend and became a single and available man. Typical, but these things happen for a reason.

Over the next few months, we kept in touch using good old fashion letters and phone calls. Then, call it fate; call it coincidence, but myself and a friend, booked a holiday to Tenerife for an October getaway and unbeknown to me, Christine had also been asked to go cover the crossover of staff in Tenerife, so we were both there at the same time.
So it all began in Tenerife and here we are nearly 11 years later.

Wedding

On 7th May 2005, we tied the knot in an art gallery not far from where we had set-up home and our reception at a modest family run hotel. Many people would say that their wedding day was perfect, but ours truly was. We had our loved ones around us, everything went without a hitch and I had managed to snag one hell of a woman.

I love my wife more than I could articulate in this blog, or show you in pictures or even show in actions (although I do try).
She is my ying to my yang, my salt to my pepper, my Bert to My Ernie. She is the reason I get up on a morning and go to work so together we can build a life that we can enjoy. Soon, this life that we have built with each other will change for the better, she will become mum and I will become dad and I wouldn’t want to embark on this journey with anybody else.

6 years ago, we got married and have never looked back, instead we look forward, forward to becoming parents.

Christine, I love you and happy anniversary.

Since I wrote this post we have become parents to two beautiful boys. Before kids I didn’t think I could love my wife anymore than I did, but when I see what she has given me in those two boys I realise I was wrong.

Love you Christine and happy anniversary.

 

How do I tell my kids?

On April 22nd 2000, my mother passed away. That event shaped my life from forever. She is forever in my heart and always in my thoughts, but my kids don’t really know she existed. She of course did, but how do I tell my kids?

Death is a funny thing. Of course I don’t mean it’s funny to die, but that it’s something we will all do but it’s also something most people don’t like to talk about. It’s as if talking about it makes it more likely to happen, which of course isn’t true, so why do people stay clear of the subject?

Talking about death has become an everyday thing in our house, certainly between me and the wife. This isn’t because it has touched our lives recently, it’s because for the past 5 months I have been working in a funeral home.

I try to avoid too much detail when the inevitable “nice day at work?” conversations happen, but its nice to talk about the stories behind the people I have ‘worked with’ that day.

What I have also avoided is answering the kids conversation regarding my parents. The boys have one set of grandparents that they love dearly but sometimes I am asked “Daddy, where’s your mummy?” and if I am honest, I don’t know how to answer the question. My answer normally consists of me mumbling something about her not being around and then distracting them with something shiny, (gotta love kids attention spans).

I’m not religious person and therefore don’t want to give them a religious answer however the theory of people leaving this world to go to another is possibly much easier for a child to understand rather than the explanation I would give to an adult which is in my opinion, you live, you die and that’s it.

Both my parents have passed away. My mum passed away when I was 18 and my father passed away when I was 27 so the kids have sadly never met them.

So you can see my dilemma. When kids ask where somebody who has passed away in your life, how do you deal with it? Is it easier to use the religious angle that they go to heaven and then when the kids are older allow them to make their own decision?

Do you have a ‘off the shelf’ answer that miraculously avoids the multitude of questions of WHY? It’s never fun not knowing the answer to something your kids ask you, but when trying to avoid either scarring them for life or filling their heads with stories of higher powers and a land where you can have anything you ever dream (I mean heaven, not Disneyland) it’s hard to know what’s right.

Have you had a similar experience? How did you explain death and loved ones passing to your kids? because sooner or later I’m not going to be able to get away with the old mumble and distract technique and I am going to have to give them an actual answer……Parenting is hard sometimes!

Please help, comment below.

L

 

 

My View – #MySundayPhoto

Imagine seeing this view everyday.
It’s ours for a week for one week only!

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This and many other photos have been linked over at Photalife, so go over there by clicking the image below and check out everybody else’s #MySundayPhoto pictures.

OneDad3Girls

 

Thanks for visiting!

L

Having another baby?

TL/DR
What started as a short story about the decision whether to have another baby, turned out as war and peace and a post about how my life panned out!
Click HERE to go to the end of the post if you can’t be bothered reading! 🙂

I always had a plan when I was a kid. maybe I was influenced by fairy tales or too many soppy movies, but I had my future planned out.

Step 1. Get a girlfriend.
I achieved this on a few occasions but only when I met The Mrs did I know, I didn’t need to search any longer. Step 1 was complete!

Step 2. Get engaged.
Once step one was complete and I knew she was the one, it was only a matter of time before step 2 was also in the bag. It seemed I needed a little nudge to complete step 2. A combination of vast amounts of alcohol and the desire to prove a point was all it took one night in a working mens club in Wales. My romantic side hasn’t really got much better than that! (For the record I did re-propose to renew our vows many years after we married, while up the Eifel tower, romantic right?…….she said no.)

Step 3. Find a home.
When we first got together the wife and I lived in a flat, above a chemist. The flat was great. Big, cheap and at some stage or another we lived with friends and had a great time. As our relationship grew and our friends moved out to avoid the inevitable ‘third wheel’ syndrome, we knew we wanted to buy our own home, make it ours and stop throwing money at a rented place. We found our home in a 3 bed semi-detached in a not very desirable place, but it was a good price, out-of-the-way and seemed perfect for us. We lived in that home for about 9 years and even began step 5 in that very home. But first….

Step 4. Get married.
When we first got engaged, we jokingly set ourselves a target wedding date. At the time it seemed AGES away in the distance, many years away. Only when it was a little over 12 months away from that eventual wedding date did we decide that we would stick to our word and get married as planned. We had a small but very cool wedding. We were married in an art gallery (Which we found by accident), had a reception in a little family run hotel and it really was an amazing day. Highlights of which included:
Seeing my nephew dressed in a suit.
Watching my wife to be walking down the isle on the arm of her dad.
Seeing The Mrs sat with her feet up showing how she’d changed her footwear during the reception to much comfier trainers.
Watching my sister hike up her skirt and stand in our empty whirlpool bath, trying to figure out how to get it working, only to find a switch later on.
And of course the journey to my mother-in-laws bedroom, led by my father-in-law, to check she was OK, because how would we know unless half the wedding party went to check at 2am? It was like a drunken Schrödinger’s cat!!

Step 5. Starting a family.
When you are together a while you start getting questions from family and friends. When you getting engaged? Then, when are you getting married? Then, when are you starting a family? After quite a few years of being married and doing all the things we wouldn’t be able to do with kids, such as travel, go out at the drop of a hat, go out for the day without taking spare clothes just in case somebody is sick. We decided the time was right to start a family. We’d known people, including family, who had varied experiences when it came to starting a family, so we were both nervous to even try. But, after around 6 months, it happened. We were expecting. I can’t help but smile at the thought of us both laying on a bed in a hotel in Goa, wondering if this was it. Should we say anything to those we were on holiday with? It turns out it isn’t easy thinking of different excuses for you not to drink alcohol when staying in an all-inclusive hotel on holiday, somehow The Mrs managed it. As soon as we landed, we drove home via a shop to buy a test and as simple as peeing on a stick we started the journey of parenthood.

That’s where my plan stopped. I didn’t know if I would even get this far, let alone what would happen afterwards. After Step 5 AKA Benjamin, we were kind of just living life and seeing what happened.
Step 5b AKA Samuel came along and we continue to love and live our lives but the questions never stop. No matter how many kids you have, the question will always crop up…having anymore?

Hello to those who couldn’t read all that and clicked the link! .

I’d be lying if the thought hadn’t crossed our minds, but thanks to my sister-in-law we now know the answer.
Nearly 9 months ago, she introduced us to her baby boy and since then we have seen him grow quickly and develop just as we saw our own boys do.
As she has now gone back to work, it means Baby O is staying over at ours some nights and last night was the first. It really was like stepping back in time while I rocked him back to sleep at 3am. It served as a perfect reminder that we’ve been there and done that and we are unbelievably happy with the amazing family we have. We don’t want to start again. Of course if we have any urges to have baby cuddles, we can always depend on Baby O to supply them.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Thanks for reading.
L

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